The Assignment
by cypheroftyr
Summary: Billy never got over his mother's death at the hands of a drunken driver when he was 10. Maybe through a aptly timed assignment, he can work through his pain.
1. Chapter 1

PR timeline- Tommy is the Green Ranger, they haven't yet gained their Ninjetti powers. Some playing around with the continuum. Rocky, Aisha and Adam will already have transferred from Stone Canyon.

A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone. I wondered what would happen if the gang got an assignment to write about how drunk driving had affected them. I'm going on the idea that Rachel Cranston was killed by a drunk driver while out with Billy when he was 9.

Billy still isn't over it in some senses but maybe the assignment can help him work things out.

Rated: PG-13 to R for themes, violence and language throughout. No pairings as of yet...and this will be a little darker than my usual work.

Feedback at: is welcome.

The Assignment..

For once in William Cranston's life he dreaded going to school. The school's administration had dedicated the month to drunk driving awareness. The faculty had done their part, either by sending their classes to the requisite assemblies, had them watch movies on the subject, do reports and essays.

Normally William loved school and the respite it gave him from the thoughts that harassed him from the deep recesses of his subconscious at times. This day was different. he was going to turn his essay on drunk driving in Ms. Applebee's class. The instructions were clear, concise and gave no room for confusion.

Out of sympathy, Ms. Applebee told him he could be excused from the exercise. She knew his mother from their teaching days and was wounded deeply when she was killed nine years prior in a horrific accident that Billy somehow survived. The driver who took Rachel Cranston's life survived the accident without a scratch on her. Billy made it physically.but the emotional scars still ran deep in the brilliant young man.

Billy had gone through two weeks of hell before he was able to start the essay, let alone finish it. He had taken Ms. Applebee's offer seriously until he started to write on a Friday night.and wrote until early in the afternoon on Saturday. He closed his eyes, and thought back on all that had moved him to open his heart and soul on paper about what happened that fateful summer day nine years ago.

Three weeks ago..

The guys filed into their English composition class as usual on a Monday morning, expecting nothing unusual. Once they were seated, they knew something was up from the look in Ms. Applebee's face. Jason and Trini spared a glance at Billy, Zack and Kim to see if they could discern the reason for their instructor's somber mood.

Zack and Kim shrugged to say "I have no idea". Billy didn't even look up at them. He kept his gaze focused on the book that lay open on his desk. Truth be told, he wanted to be alone on this day. The anniversary of the accident that took his mother's life and almost his own. The fact that the school was having activities to make the student body aware of the danger of drunken driving was getting to him slowly but surely.

He felt like running out of the room and the school to his room and staying there the rest of the day. His close friends knew what was wrong, but could do nothing to assuage his ill temper until after class. Everyone but Billy looked up when Ms. Applebee cleared her throat to get their attention.

"Good afternoon class. Today, I have a special assignment to give you. In honor of the school's campaign to make you aware of the dangers of drinking and driving, all of the English Composition classes are being asked to assign an essay to you. I would like you to be honest, brutally honest on how this has affected you, or someone you know. We hope that in knowing how this has affected our students, we can make people a little more aware of themselves and how they can harm others with a bad decision.

I know that this will be difficult, even impossible for some of you. I know some of you have been personally affected, and it may be too difficult to put words to paper in regard to personal events in your life. For those of you, you are excused from this assignment if you so choose. Otherwise, come see me and we can work out an alternative assignment. You have until May 25th to turn in your essay. For those of you who consent, your essay may be shared with the class or in the general assembly to close the events of the month. You may be excused for this class period. I'll be here for anyone who needs to discuss the assignment."

Ms. Applebee finished her talk as she noticed Billy hadn't moved from his seat, nor had he looked at her during her instructions. She wondered if he was going to get up or come talk to her about the essay. She had no intention of having him do the assignment, as she knew how hard it was for him to deal with the loss of his mother. He sat stock still until everyone else had left, then finally looked up at his teacher.

"Thank you for the offer Ms. Applebee. I'm not sure if I can do this but if I can't I'll let you know in a couple of weeks. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go see someone." Billy got up and left without another word to anyone. His friends waited for him in the hall, as they wondered how he was coping with the anniversary of his mom's passing. Normally he stayed home or was quiet all day until he was picked up to go pay his respects at the cemetery.

"Billy, do you need anything?" Jason asked as he walked with Billy to his locker. The sadness in his friends eyes wounded the young man to his soul. Jason knew what pain his oldest friend was in, but could do nothing to ease it.

"No thank you Jason. I really hate to be rude but I need some time alone if you all don't mind. You know what today is and I probably should have stayed home. The assignment we were just given has done nothing to ease the malaise that I am feeling. I may contact you later if I need further solace. Goodbye." Billy left them to wait for his father to pick him up at the front gates of the school.

As Billy left them, Kim, Trini, Zack and Jason wondered what they could do to help their friend. Kim was usually wont to come up with an idea to cheer someone up. she knew that Billy's hurt ran too deep for a smoothie to cure it.

"I hope Ms. Applebee was talking about Bill when she was talking about people who were excused from the assignment." Kim said as she eyed Tommy coming around the corner. Since he was new to the team, he still felt the outsider to them. One thing Kim had cautioned him about once he had been accepted to the team---not to ask about Billy's mother. Tommy thought back to when she had told him not to ask about Billy's mom.

"It's a touchy subject. He doesn't talk about her much and he's not going to as far as we can tell. So please be sensitive about that." Kim cautioned him one day after they had split from the others and were on their way to a movie.

"Ok, Kim. I'll remember that if nothing else. It sucks that the other driver wasn't even hurt." In a burst of insight that was rare for Thomas Oliver, he asked Kim precisely why Billy never talked about his mother. "Kim, do you all avoid asking him because he asked you to, or because you're afraid of upsetting him? Did anyone ever think he may want or need to talk about her to deal with it?" Tommy asked in a quiet tone as they walked through the park.

Kim let her mind wander over the question for a moment before she answered. "He never said outright don't ask about her. I guess we wanted to spare him the pain of being reminded of his loss. Now, I have no idea how I would even bring it up."

Tommy nodded as they went on their way towards their date while the others carried on.

Present day..

"Hey guys, what's wrong? You all look pretty bummed." Tommy asked as they departed school. All of them had English last period, and were all dismissed after they had received their assignments.

"It's the assignment we all got in English comp. We're worried about Billy, he's been acting odd all week and this assignment we got seems like it's too much. Especially today of all day's." Trini said as she nabbed her books out of her locker and headed toward the exit.

"Oh yeah. I don't think he'd do the essay though. Would he?" Tommy asked as they exited the school in time to see Billy get picked up by his father. Mr. Cranston waved at them as he pulled off. He was in no better shape than his son, but had learned to wear his mask well. It was a lesson Billy had yet to learn when it came to his grief and anger over his loss.

They waved back as they pulled off. The rest of the teens headed to their usual spot at Ernie's Juice Bar and Youth Centre. Meanwhile, Billy and his father Lance headed to the florist for their annual stop before the cemetery.

Lance noticed his son's quieter than normal demeanor, but attributed it to the task at hand. He looked over after they had made their purchases and were enroute to pay their respects and noticed Billy was slumped over with his head in his hands as he sobbed quietly.

"Son, do you need me to pull over?" Lance asked quietly as he scoped out a place to pull over in case Billy needed time to compose himself.

"No, I. I'm sorry father. I've had a rough day and doing this isn't making it any better. I apologize for my childish outburst. Please, continue driving." Billy said as he wiped the tears away and looked out the window as they drove on to Angel Grove Cemetery. Lance sighed inwardly as he wondered what to do with his son. Billy could be hard to deal with on an emotional level, but give the boy an advanced physics problem and he's happy. He decided to let Billy have his privacy for the moment. Whenever Billy decided to come to him he would be there.

They pulled into the cemetery and went to Rachel's gravestone silently.each man immersed in his own thoughts. Billy wondered if he had what it took to do that essay, and maybe finally dispel some of the demons that haunted him. He knew his mother would want him to at least try to do the assignment, even if it proved too painful to complete. Lance let himself remember the vibrant, loving woman he fell for at first sight. He had come a long way in letting himself survive the pain of losing her that nearly destroyed him years ago.

His son, wasn't there yet but getting there slowly. Lance went first to her grave, laid out the yellow chrysanthemums that were her favorite flower and bent his head in silence. Billy hung back out of respect for his father and to allow him privacy to mourn Rachel. Once his father was done, Billy stepped forward, knelt and arranged the pink roses next to the flowers his father had lain down.

He remained that way as he bowed his head, not in prayer but in silent communion with his mother. Mom, I miss you so much. I wish you could help me. This month has been hard for me and I'm close to the edge. Jason, Kim, Zack and Trini are doing their best to help me get through this and I love them for it. However, their support can't stop the night mares or the feelings of guilt that have yet to be absolved.

I'll make it brief mom, you know it pains me to be here. we have to do an assignment for school, an essay on how drunk driving has affected us. Ms. Applebee said I could take a pass due to what happened, but I think it may be good for me. I wish you could let me know somehow what the right path is. If I can do the assignment, I'll come back and read it to you.

That's all for now, I'm sure I'll be back soon to see you. I love you mom, as always, I wish you peace until we meet again. Billy stood, brushed himself off and turned to his father. Neither man spoke as they exited, each lost in his thoughts. After the silence in the car became too much for Lance, he asked Billy about school and why he was so upset.

"Billy, do you mind telling me what had you so upset earlier? You were very agitated."

Billy sighed and looked at his father closely before answering. "We have an assignment for Ms. Applebee's class that may be impossible for me to complete. I don't know if I can actually put into words how drunken driving has affected me. It's due in 3 weeks and I don't know if I have it in me to actually do it." Billy fidgeted with his seat belt as they drove, as he noticed they weren't taking the usual route home.

Lance allowed himself a small smile at the obvious question that was on his son's lips. He decided to break tradition and treat them to a nice dinner out instead of going home to mourn all over again. "I'm taking us out to dinner, we deserve it son. Now, in terms of your assignment, does she honestly expect you to be able to do this?"

"She did say for those of us who have been touched deeply we could forgo the assignment. I don't want to let my issues keep me from doing this but it's personal dad. And, for those who consent, the essays will be read in class. Even if I can do this, I'm sure I don't want it read in class or forbid the general assembly at the end of the month." Billy leaned back and let his eyes drift close. He could feel a headache coming on as well as being tired all of a sudden.

Lance let his mind wrap around Billy's dilemma as they headed to Maggiano's, while the others in Billy's tightly knit group of friends were gathered at the youth center. They had gathered at their usual table and were silent while they mulled over what to do about their assignment.

Tommy leaned back as he studied the others as they were deep in thought. He didn't know Billy as well as they did but he didn't want to see their resident genius is pain either. "Guys, why don't you write about how Billy's loss has affected you. If its not too much for you that is. That way he can see that you support him." Tommy offered as a way to help their friend.

Jason shook his head. "That solves our problem of what to write, but it doesn't help Billy with the assignment. The decision to write it should be his, but he should know we support him no matter what, right guys?"

Zack, Trini, Kim and Tommy nodded their assent to Jason's words as they noticed the time and that their parents would be looking for them to show up for dinner soon. "I'd better get home, mom will be looking for me. Tommy will you walk me home?" Kim said as she gathered her things and bid her friends farewell.

"Sure Kim, I need to be getting home as well." Tommy said as he followed suit and packed up his books and karate gear.

"Bye guys. I'll see you tomorrow at school." Kim said as she left with Tommy in tow. Everyone else followed their lead and eventually meandered home, each with thoughts of Billy on their mind.

A/N: Up next: Is there such a thing as being too helpful? Will Billy accept their attempts or be more put out. and the beginning of the essay!


	2. Chapter 2

/PR timeline- Tommy is the Green Ranger; they have not yet gained their Ninjetti powers. Some playing around with the continuum. Rocky, Aisha and Adam will already have transferred from Stone Canyon.

A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone. I wondered what would happen if the gang got an assignment to write about how drunk driving had affected them. I'm going on the idea that Rachel Cranston was killed by a drunk driver while out with Billy when he was nine.

Billy still isn't over it in some senses but maybe the assignment can help him work out his issues.

Rated: PG-13 to R for themes, violence and language throughout. No pairings as of yet...and this will be a little darker than my usual work.

Feedback at: is welcome.

The Assignment.. continued.

Lance and William Cranston were quiet by nature. Lance was never one to be loud or boisterous. His son William was quiet as a means of survival. They sat quietly at their window booth at Maggiano's as they contemplated each other. Lance wondered what was running through his son's mind after their annual visit to Rachel's grave.

Billy toyed with his water glass as he silently wished his father would stop his scrutiny and say something. "Dad, please stop staring at me. It's making me uncomfortable." Billy said as he fidgeted with his glass.

Lance looked at Billy for a moment before he complied with his son's request. "Sorry. I'm just worried about you. That crying jag in the car and the assignment you told me about has me concerned. I know how hard it is for you at this time of year."

Billy held up a hand to forestall his father's comments. "Dad, I'd prefer to deal with the assignment on my own. Time is the only cure for my other issues, I appreciate your concern but I'd rather deal with it myself for now." Billy looked down at the glass in front of him as if it had offended him somehow.

Lance let Billy brood. When he clammed up and got that expression on his face it was best to leave him be. They finished their meal in silence and went home, neither man spoke until they arrived and Billy went straight to his room. "Goodnight father." was all Billy said as he closed his door and locked it.

Billy looked at his computer, considered turning it on but decided against it. He knew if he turned it on, he would sit there all night attempting that damn essay. He just didn't have the emotional where withal to deal with opening up his heart on paper. He decided to take a warm shower and crash. Maybe if he woke up with a clear head, he could tackle it.

Everyone had turned in for the night with thoughts of the assignment on their minds as well as their friend who had been touched so deeply by the recklessness of another. The next morning went well for Billy until lunch. He found himself flanked by Jason and Kim on one side, Trini, and Zack on the other side.

Billy inwardly sighed as he felt the tension around his friends. He knew they were concerned after his abrupt departure the day before. He also knew they could push his buttons without meaning to when it came to emotional issues. He hoped he could contain it, as usual without loosing his calm façade.

"Uh hi guys, why am I being surrounded? I am perfectly capable of walking to our usual locale for eating under my own power." Billy said as he sat down uneasily; he felt like what he imagined one of his lab specimens must feel like under his scrutiny. He waited for someone to do or say something before the tension made him snap.

Kim noticed his uneasiness and put her hand on his knee to calm him. She knew his moods pretty well, and could sense he was getting ready to bolt if the tension didn't ease up in point-five seconds or less.

"Billy, relax. We just wanted to see how you're doing today, that's all. After you left suddenly we were just concerned about you and how you were dealing with the assignment we got in class." At the mention of the dreaded assignment, Billy's expression went vacant for a moment, and then he composed himself before he responded to Kim.

"Kim, please do not mention that essay to me. I am not sure I will even do the assignment, if you remember Ms. Applebee will allow me to forgo the essay. I may just do that if I can't bring myself to write it. Now, if you all will excuse me, I'd prefer to be alone." Billy stood to leave but Jason put his hand on Billy's shoulder to stop him from bolting from everyone.

Billy looked up at Jason's hand on his shoulder with an expression akin to shock, which shifted to barely concealed anger in a heartbeat. When Billy looked up to Jason, something in his expression led Jason to release his grip on Billy.

"Billy, Kim was only worried. We don't want you to leave and we're sorry that we upset you." Jason offered as he stood his ground but left his hands at his side. Billy kept his gaze locked on Jason as he spoke in a tone that was probably a bit harsh for the unintended slight Kim or Jason had committed out of concern for him.

"Jason, I'm aware of the fact that Kim spoke up because she is concerned about me, as are all of you. However, I do not need to be babied, watched, or corralled into a safety net of my friends. Nor do I need or want anyone to check up on my emotional well-being every time I get "upset". Billy made the air quotes as he spoke to them.

Billy turned and poked Jason in the chest before he continued to speak. "You know how badly I dealt with my loss. You of all people know how deeply I was affected and still are." He stepped back and glanced at everyone else who was assembled. A hint of sadness and anger in his eyes while he spoke. "As my friends I ask you to let me cope with the assignment on my own terms. Now, if you don't mind I really do need to be alone now. I'll be in touch later." Having finished his rant, Billy stalked off from his friends, toward the library where he could have some peace and quiet. He slowed down as he barely avoided a collision with Tommy who let him pass with no questions asked.

Tommy he made his way toward the cafeteria as he wondered what set Billy off to the point he was rude to him. Billy had passed him without so much as an "excuse me" or "hi". As he entered the cafeteria, Tommy spotted the others; as he joined them he noticed Kim was trying to hold back tears and Jason talking quietly with Zack. Tommy slipped an arm around Kim to comfort her while he asked what had happened with Billy.

"What's wrong with Billy? He passed me by without as much as a hello or go to hell. He looked really pissed off." Tommy said as he nibbled on a roll and waited for an answer.

Trini looked over to their newest teammate, and sighed inwardly at how she could explain the situation without letting her irritation at Billy show through.

"It seems as if our attempt to let Billy know we're worried back fired. He's so hard to read emotionally. We thought if we showed him we're concerned it would help but it only seemed to irritate him. I have a feeling his father may have done something similar yesterday, and it just seemed like more of the same to Billy.

I'll call him later, maybe he'll be in the mood to talk or at least listen to me. Kim, you know he would never upset you like this intentionally, he's emotionally damaged and we need to be remember that." Trini said as she gathered her things and left for her next class.

Kim watched Trini exit the cafeteria as her words sunk in. ".he's emotionally damaged." those words rang through her head as she allowed Tommy to help her. No one else spoke as everyone dispersed toward his or her respective classes.

Billy had retreated to a far corner of the library with his laptop and a set of headphones so he could focus on his work. He noticed Tommy out of the corner of his eye; he hoped his newest friend would have the good grace to leave him alone. He had passed Tommy up without as much as a "hello" or "'scuse' me" earlier in the hall. Fortunately, the other boy kept his distance and allowed Billy his privacy.

Tommy made a mental note to speak with Jason after school about Billy. He was worried about his friend, especially since he pushed them all away. Tommy sat back and studied both American History from 1800 and Billy while he made mental notes as he observed.

Billy was off in his own world as he pondered how to begin the essay. He had put on his headphones, found something that would get him relaxed and let the laptop run iTunes as he stared at the blinking cursor in frustration. Finally, he started to type.

Shattered, an essay by William A. Cranston

My life was irrevocably altered nine years ago when a car operated by  
an inebriated driver collided with the car my mother and I were in. I  
barely survived, while my mother died en route to the hospital. That  
day, my life was over. Almost in the literal sense but in the  
metaphorical and spiritual sense. A part of me died with my mother, as  
did a significant part of my father's heart and soul.

I survived the wreck thanks to being buckled in as well as not being  
on the side of the vehicle that took the impact of the collision. My  
mother was not so lucky, as she absorbed the brunt of the impact, and  
lost significant amounts of blood as they worked to free her from the  
wreck of our vehicle.

I was still conscious as she started to slip away into death. For a  
nine-year-old boy cursed with my intellect it was pure hell to see her  
suffer as she did while they worked to get us out. I knew on an  
intellectual level what had happened, and that she was in shock from  
her injuries. Some detached part of me understood that she would not  
survive without a miracle or on the spot blood transfusion, while the  
child that I was started to cry out for his mother.

Billy stopped typing and reread his words on the LCD screen. Something wasn't right to him; it was as if he was merely telling what happened with little to no emotional sense of what he really felt at the time. He knew that if he were going to do the essay he would have to dig deep into places he would rather leave shuttered and locked in his heart.

He rubbed a hand over his face as he considered deleting what he had written; Billy noticed a trail of moisture on his cheek. 'Damn, I knew this would get to me, but I can't sit here in the library crying like a child. If I can't even write a rough draft without tearing up, how can I do the assignment?' Billy thought as he stopped with his hand over the 'delete' key. Instead, he saved it to his document folder and shut down his laptop.

Billy thought about his friends as he packed his case and headed to his last class for the day. 'I'll work on it later, at home. I should find the others and apologize for how I spoke to Kim and Jason.' Billy stopped by where Tommy was reading and stood next to him. Tommy glanced up at Billy and smiled before closing his book and getting up. He indicated that Billy should come with him as they exited the library.

Billy waited until they had cleared the library's entrance and found a spot to sit down. He looked at Tommy as he spoke quietly. "Tommy, I'm sorry for the way I brushed past you earlier. I was upset to say the least. I also apologize for making Kimberly upset. I did not intend for her to be wounded by my ill-placed anger earlier. Do you know where I can find her so that I may make amends?"

Tommy looked at Billy, quirked a smile at him before he spoke. "It's ok Billy. I can understand how our friends can be a little overbearing with good intent. I'm sure Kim understood you didn't mean to upset her. They were only concerned. As to where to find Kim and the others---if everyone has finished with class for the day they should be getting ready to head to the Youth Centre. Why don't you come with us?" Tommy asked as he stood, shouldered his bag and began to make his way to the main entrance of the school.

Billy sighed inwardly. He really didn't want to see all of his friends. He felt bad about how he had acted earlier as well as not being in the mood to hang out. "Sure, at least I can apologize for my rudeness earlier. I may not join you at the Centre, as I have copious amounts of school work to finish by this weekend." Billy said as he followed Tommy to the entrance to see everyone gathered as usual.

Everyone looked up to find their resident genius as he sullenly followed Tommy to where they stood. Billy went to Kim and gave her a brief, hard hug. He knew he had upset her with his harsh tone, as well as his abrupt departure.

"Kim, I apologize for my rudeness earlier. I had no malice intent, and I certainly did not mean to make you upset. Jason, I owe you an apology as well. Please forgive my transgression against you earlier." Billy said as the group started to walk toward the Centre.

Kim slipped an arm through Billy's as they walked. She knew he would bolt and head home if given the opportunity. "It's ok Billy. We should have been more sensitive to your feelings as well. I have to remember that you deal with things alone sometimes. I promise to be better about recognizing the way you are dealing with things in the future." Kim walked with her arm looped in Billy's as he looked ahead and mulled over what she said.

"Kim, thank you for that. I know it's not always the best thing to cope with matters alone but sometimes I need to do that before I can finally ask for assistance. I'm afraid I have offended my father as well when he only was concerned for my emotional well being."

Kim stopped and hugged Billy in a fierce way that was meant to reinforce how much she cared for him as a friend. Jason expected Billy to stiffen and try to pull away; instead, Billy sank into the embrace as if he was drowning. The last couple of days had taken a toll on him whether he wanted to admit it or not. Kim's simple act of a hug broke down his defenses as he held her and fought the onslaught of tears that threatened to spill over.

Kim felt the suppressed sobs that Billy held in check while he held onto her for the longest time. Some part of his mind screamed at him to let go of Kim before Tommy decked him, but he shut that part down. Tommy wasn't like that it, and Billy closed his eyes and let his head rest on Kim's shoulder. She whispered in his ear to assure him it was ok to hold on.

"Billy you can cry if you need to. No one will judge you if you do. We understand, if you want we can go somewhere and talk.only if you want to that is."

Billy loosened his grip to respond to her. "Can we go somewhere and talk I don't think I can do this anymore Kim." Billy pulled back a little as he stared at Kim. She saw the tears standing in his eyes and nodded, then started to pull him off toward their spot in the park. Kim shook her head "no" when the others started to follow them.

Billy smiled thinly and told her it was ok, he needed all of them there. The group solemnly went to the bench that was so far into the park it seemed part of the forest and not the park. Billy sunk onto the grass like someone had taken all of the fight out of him, while Kim sat in front of him in arm's reach in case Billy reached out to her.

No one said anything while they assembled and Billy stared a hole in the ground. He didn't mean to unload like this, but he knew if he kept it inside he was gonna blow his top at the wrong person. In a movement that surprised Kim and himself, Billy pulled Kim into a hug and finally let go of the tears that had sprung up. He felt Trini and eventually everyone there gather into a group around him while he let go of the emotions that were running amok in his heart and head.

Once he finished crying, he raised his head from Kim's shoulder and looked up at everyone. He felt childish for the display but he also felt much better since he had let that out of his system. He wiped at Kim's shoulder as he attempted to dry her off. "Forgive me Kim, I didn't mean to soak you like that. I just needed to get that out." Kim smiled and kissed Billy on the cheek as she remained in his embrace.

"I know Billy. There is nothing to forgive my friend. I'll dry off for the next time you need me."

There was nothing between them, only brotherly and sisterly love for a long time friend. He wrapped his arms around her and finally relaxed with his friends nearby. Kim stayed put as Billy started to finally speak.

"Thank you for being here now. I couldn't take the emotional duress any longer. Tommy forgive my appropriation of Kim, but her hug was something I needed, apparently a lot more than I realized as well as her touch now. I, I don't know where to start, but I'll try. This essay has brought up a lot of bad memories for me, some things I had worked through in counseling. Some things are painful and disturbing to me still.

I started the essay earlier, but when I read what I had written it seemed like I was merely describing the incident with no emotion. It seems that I can't attach what I felt to the event any longer. I know what I felt then and how I still feel now, but I can't put it into words for some reason.

I know this will not be easy, but I don't want to give up without trying to do the assignment. I know I hold things in, this being the biggest emotional issue I have, all I guess I'm asking now is that you support me. I know I can be exceedingly stubborn and willful when it comes to things like this, but I need to learn to deal with it not just hide from it."

Jason, Zack and Trini watched Billy as he spoke, since him opening up was as rare as a blue moon. Jason had been there when Billy came home from the hospital, and he knew how Billy had taken the death of his mother. How deeply the pain still ran in the young man's heart.

No one but Jason knew how depressed Billy would become on her birthday, or mother's day for the first few years after her death. Jason had an idea to help Billy with the essay as well as a way for them to support him. He spoke up as Billy lapsed into silence once more.

"Billy, I know this is hard for you, I really do. If you would allow it, I think it would be a good idea for those of us who could write on how this has effected our friend and in turn affected us. I ask your permission to do that Billy."

Tommy, Rocky, Adam and Aisha were quietly mulling over how they could help their friend. They hadn't been in his life when he lost his mother, so they didn't know if it would be appropriate for them to follow along with Jason's idea. Adam looked over to where Billy and Kim were still entwined as Billy mulled over Jason's offer.

"If you desire to do so Jason, I have no problems with that. I only ask that you keep certain things out of your essay. There are some things I need to mention as well as work through for myself. I appreciate the offer more than you can ever know." Billy finally released Kim as he stretched out his legs so they could wake up. "Sorry Kim, but my appendages have decided to go to sleep." Billy stood up and stretched while Kim scooted over a bit.

Billy sat on the bench next to Trini, who wrapped an arm around him for support. They all were quiet for moments until Rocky spoke up. "Billy, I know we haven't known you as long but if there is a way we can support you please let us know. My father was killed by a drunken driver so I understand to a degree what you went through."

Billy looked at Rocky for a long moment, and then gave him a thin smile that never reached his eyes. "Gracias Rocky. If I can be of any help to you please let me know. Billy glanced at his watch and grimaced slightly. "As much as I am enjoying this I must depart for home. My dad wanted to talk to me, more than likely about my less than stellar attitude yesterday evening. Thank you for this, I needed it more than I care to admit to." Billy stood and started to leave, after he gave Trini a brief, hard hug.

Jason picked up his bag and dashed off after Billy, he wanted to talk to him about how he was coping. Not merely with the assignment, but with the depression Jason knew overtook Billy on occasion. "Billy, wait up I'll walk with you."

Billy halted his progress enough for Jason to join him. He figured that Jason wanted to speak with him, after all his IQ did start with a "2". The two young men fell into step as they headed back toward their homes. Jason didn't want to just come out and ask if he was ok, especially after the fiasco in school earlier.

"Bill, are you ok with me being brutally honest in my essay?" Jason queried as they walked slowly down the street.

Billy gazed ahead as they walked, he knew that Jason was taking the long way around a short road. "Jase, I'm ok with you being brutally honest with how this has affected you. I was referring to the depression I find myself sinking into on occasion. If its mentioned I'd prefer to speak on it rather than you. Even though you have first hand knowledge of how bad it was and still is on occasion for me, I'd prefer to address that personally."

Billy stopped and looked Jason dead in the eye as he spoke. "Jase, I am grateful to you for everything you have ever done to help me deal with mom's death. I owe you a debt of the soul I can never hope to repay. I love you like the brother I don't have. Right now I am terrified, slightly depressed, anxious and confused. All of the emotions I felt when it happened have resurfaced and yes I may become really depressed again. All I ask is that you be there like always, because I have a feeling I'll need you Jase. You have always been my strength in times of need and dammit I'm in need now. I may need to you once I am done talking to my father."

Billy started to walk, uneasy at how much he had admitted to Jason. He knew Jase cared for him as a brother and would do anything. It was hard for Billy to ask for help, exceedingly hard to ask for someone with his intellect.

Jason fell back into step with Billy as he pondered what Billy had said to him. He knew Billy hated to ask for help, especially with emotional issues. He looked up as they arrived at Billy's home, he smiled and gave Billy's shoulder a squeeze before he spoke. "Bill, you never need to ask to call me. Just do it and I'll be there for you. I love you as my little bro'. I'll always be there for you."

Billy smiled, unable to respond verbally for the moment. Jase understood as he walked off. Emotional closeness was hard for his best friend, but he was getting better at it. Billy walked in to the house, fully expecting a dressing down for the way he acted the night before.

"Dad, I'm home."

AN: Ok, it took me forever to update. But more to come.. Jason and Kim's essays.. more from Billy's essay as he tries to convey his feelings.

Feedback makes me a happy fic writer! (


	3. Chapter 3

The Assignment --- Chapter 3?

Billy entered the house, and after calling his father for a moment or two, he realized he was alone in the house. Eventually he found a note on the kitchen table from his father.

"_Sorry that I'm not here Bill. There was a last minute emergency project at work. We'll catch up soon. Here's some money for dinner. Dad"_

After a quick call for takeout, he sat down at the kitchen table, pulled out his laptop and wanted to write something while waiting on Chinese. After booting up the machine, he simply sat and stared at the blank screen, the sounds of the empty house suddenly weighing heavy on his ears. Remembering Jason's offer he picked up the phone and hit "2" on speed dial.

"Scott residence, hi Bill, what's up?" Jason's voice said through the receiver. Billy realized that the caller ID must have told Jason who was calling.

"Uh... Jason, do you think I might avail myself of the offer you made previously today?"

Jason smiled thinly. If Billy had reverted to his infamous "Billy-speak" he knew it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation. "Of course, would you like me to come by or did you want to come here? Either way is fine Bill."

"I have to await the arrival of a summoned meal. If you'd be willing to come over here, I could offer you the recompense for your time in the way of Mongolian Beef and Lo Mien."

"That would be more than adequate William." Jason snickered at the mental image of Billy letting his very un-Jason like answer roll around that agile mind of his.

Ever quick on the uptake, Billy actually found himself smiling at his oldest friend's attempt at humor. "The meal is due to arrive in about forty five minutes. I hope to see you before then." His smile slowly faded, "…and Jason thanks."

"Welcome. I should be there within a half hour."

"The front door will be unlocked. I'll see you then." Billy hung up the phone.

Jason smiled as he hung up. Hopefully, Billy being able to joke was a good sign. He sought out his mom, told her he'd be over at Billy's for the evening and walked over.

Billy looked down at the laptop and actually caught himself scowling. For some reason the idea of the assignment was starting to irrationally annoy him. He had tried to write the essay as requested. What he had come up with sounded like a dry play-by-play repeat of a horrible accident on the news, rather than a first hand account. While he waited for Jason to arrive, he started a new version of the damnable assignment.

"_Shattered" – An essay by William Cranston_

_The drunk driver that robbed me of my mother lived through the accident. I've never forgiven her or God for that day. We were out for a mother and son excursion, something that we indulged in on rare weekends when father had to work. I remember well how my mother would admonish me for wanting to sit up front with her despite my small size. She always told me to sit in the back… I never understood why until that fateful day. Had I been sitting up front with her, I wouldn't be here now. The way the car crumpled, I would have been killed instantly, and my father would have had to endure the loss of his wife and only child. I think that alone would have driven him to suicide. _

_Sometimes I think the fact that I'm alive is all that keeps him here. Sometimes, I know that my father would be dead within six months if I gave in to the suicidal urges I feel on occasion. That is the only reason I'm still alive today. Most of my friends don't know, and dare I say could not understand how I feel sometimes… when the accident happened I was a walking emotional disaster after my release from the hospital. I saw her as she died, the way the light left her eyes as she passed beyond the veil. I barely remember that I was screaming her name, not mom or mommy as I slipped into unconsciousness. When I came to in the hospital, no one needed to tell me that she was gone…there wasn't any hope against hope that she'd somehow survived the accident. Our family doctor wondered what was wrong with me when I didn't ask for my mother or demand to know what had happened. I remembered the accident perfectly, and could not bear to see her as if she were merely sleeping instead of deceased. I had that final farewell at her funeral. I never asked how long I was out, however it must have been a substantial amount of time since the doctors and my father insisted on numerous neurological tests to ensure I hadn't suffered any long term brain damage. _

_I should have insisted on therapy instead of the seemingly endless CAT scans to ensure my physical well-being was intact. I refused to speak during the extended period of mourning, unless prodded to by my doctor or by father. Dad refused to leave my side during the tests, and for some time after I came home he stayed with me constantly. It was probably because he feared I might injure myself due to the injuries I had sustained in the accident or, more than likely he feared that I would try to take my own life in a fit of depression. I still refused to speak at home, unless I had to. I didn't care any more… I wanted to die, to be without the pain that I carried in my heart and soul. I wanted more than anything to have woken up and found that it had been a horrible nightmare, an illusion. Alas, that wasn't to be the case._

_My refusal to speak despite the appearance of good physical health eventually forced my father's hand in dealing with his grief and mine. I would not respond to anyone other than him when asked questions. It was like I was a walking corpse for all intents and purposes. Things came to a head when I was summoned to the principal's office for insubordinate behavior by a substitute teacher on a power trip. He assumed my refusal to speak was a form of disrespect, or a way of acting out against a substitute teacher. My father was summoned to the school, and once he arrived he was quietly furious at the sub's insistence that I was being malicious and usurping his authority as a teacher._

_I smirked at that. He was using verbiage he thought I was too young to understand and obviously wording that he thought would intimidate my father._

_I think dad caught my smirk, and let the pompous fool have a piece of his mind. That smirk was the only sign of emotion or being aware of my surroundings that I had given in some time. Once dad was done cutting the man down to his proper size, we left with permission for me to stay home the rest of the week. On the way home dad said nothing, he merely kept an eye on me until we got there. He only told me to go shower, change clothes and come to the living room. I had a feeling he'd finally had enough of my silence, and being summoned to school was the final straw. I sat on the sofa next to dad, and he gently nudged me over until he had embraced me and kissed me on top of the head. Though I longer enjoyed being touched by anyone since mom's passing I allowed it. Dad spoke so quietly and with such raw feeling it broke my resolve to blame myself for her death. _

"_Billy, I'm not sure why you won't talk and you won't let me hug you anymore. I know you're still grieving for her, as am I. But the way you've retreated into yourself isn't healthy. You haven't spoken unless I ask you over and over several times. The whole not talking in school thing really won't fly much longer. As you saw today, you will have teachers who don't care, or who don't know that you've lost your mom. I don't know why you're blaming yourself Billy, but you have to stop it. You are not to blame. The woman who was driving the other car is to blame, not you." _

_Dad stopped and tipped my head up so he could look me in the eyes. I wanted to tell him it was my fault; that somehow I failed to react or something I didn't do was to blame for my mother's demise. I couldn't find the words; I just couldn't bear to say that to him when he looked at me with such unconditional love in his eyes and understanding. _

_Instead, I buried my head into his shirt and started sobbing… I had shed more tears in that month than I had in my short lifespan of almost ten years, and at that moment it didn't seem as if I would ever stop crying. The next thing I knew, I had been pulled into dad's lap and held while I cried my heart out._

Billy's train of thought was interrupted as Jason walked up and cleared his throat. He looked up at his old friend, and forgot for a moment why Jason was even there. He had been so wrapped up in telling his tale that he forgot about his delivery or Jason coming over.

"Billy, you ok? You didn't hear the delivery guy did you?" Jason put the food down and sat next to Billy. It worried him that Billy was so engrossed in what he was doing that he had missed the delivery and Jason ringing the doorbell several times.

"Sorry Jason, I guess I was off in my own little world. I started the essay and ran away with it. Thanks for getting the food, sorry that I spaced out on you."

"No problem Bill. I'll get the plates and cups, want to eat in here or out in the living room?" Jason navigated his way around the kitchen as if he lived there as well. He had been to the Cranston's so often, he may as well have been raised there too.

"In here is fine." Billy grabbed cutlery, chopsticks and drinks for them. He was slightly annoyed at himself for being so wrapped up that he failed to hear the doorbell or Jason entering the house. Good thing Angel Grove was a relatively safe place.

"Here you go Jase, choice of chopsticks or a fork. I hope Mountain Dew or Coke is all right."

Jason snagged a set of chopsticks, poured them some Coke and settled in… "As long as it's not coffee that you made, I'll take it." Jason tried to lighten the mood a bit as Billy seemed to be in a funk. Billy gave a halfhearted grin at Jason's attempt at humor as he picked at his food.

"Forgive my demeanor Jase. I fear writing the essay has gotten to me in ways I didn't expect." Billy poked at his food a bit more before mumbling a question and looking at his plate as if it was suddenly quite fascinating.

"Come again Bill? I didn't hear you." Jason gave Billy his full attention before he gently queried him to repeat the question. Billy looked up, smiled a little and looked down at his plate.

"I asked if you would mind reading the essay and giving me your opinion on what I have so far."

"Of course I'd do it Bill. Why the shy act all of a sudden? It's not like I'll be harsh and mean."

Billy looked at Jason levelly before answering. "Because I'm afraid I'll open myself up too much with this essay. You know me better than anyone, dare I say even better than I know myself sometimes. This is intensely personal and difficult for me. I didn't think it would this difficult to do, I didn't think it would affect me so deeply."

Jason pushed his plate to the side and tipped Billy's chin up so that he could stare deeply into his best friend's eyes. "William Cranston… I love you, for all of your flaws both real and imagined. I know how difficult this is for you… scratch that. I can imagine how difficult this is for you; I have no real idea just how hard it will be to do this assignment. I do know you pretty well, and I don't think you should ever be afraid of me- or what I will say to you. You are my best friend, my bro' and no one can ever understand what you mean to me. The fact that you opened up to me when you were in so much emotional pain means a lot to me, I am honored to call you friend, teammate and "little bro".

Jason sat back and took up his chopsticks again while he let Billy process what he had said. He figured that Billy wouldn't react for a bit, if at all. Billy to his credit smiled, and cleared his throat. He didn't know what to say in response to Jason's declaration of love for him. He gets up to get more soda, to avoid the tears that threatened to fall. When he realized that the Coke was still on the table, his voice was suspiciously thick as he asked Jason to pass it to him.

"Can you, um pass me the soda Jason?" He received the bottle with no response other than a smile. Jason knew better than to make a big deal of his reaction… he merely pulled the laptop toward him and asked if it was ok to begin reading the essay.

"May I?"

Billy nodded and managed to sound reasonably normal with his, "Please. I'll be in the living room. I don't want to stare at you while you read Jase." Billy squeezed Jason's shoulder as he passed by as his way of thanking Jase for being there for him.

Jason turned to read the essay. He knew Billy to be an excellent writer, science not being his only strong academic subject; he just hadn't realized how well his blue-clad friend could paint a picture with words. Toward the end he found himself near tears. He knew how much his friend missed his mom. Many of their casual acquaintances thought that Billy didn't miss his mother that much because he never talked about her. Jason along with Kim, Trini, and Zach understood otherwise. He didn't talk about his mom because he missed her so much that it was too painful to discuss.

Billy shifted nervously on the couch... he wondered what was taking Jason so long to finish off his writing... it wasn't that long of an essay.

Finally, getting his own emotions under enough control that he felt safe to discuss what he'd read, Jason made his way to the living room where Billy was waiting.

Billy looked up at the sound of Jason's footsteps. "I was getting worried...is it ok?"

"I think it's really well written, Bill." He leaned against the door way. "It hits home pretty hard. I knew you'd been hurting when we met. I knew you were lonely, but I no idea it was that serious." Jason literally forced himself not to pull the Blue Ranger in his arms. He knew that might be more than Billy could handle just. He could bide his time. Wait for the right moment. Wait for what he'd said to sink in.

Thank you... I trust your opinion Jase; I know you'd be honest with me. I wanted it to let the reader know how I felt at the time... but I also didn't want to reveal too much

Billy stood up, stretched and granted Jason one of his rare brilliant smiles. "Thank you Jason... I know how much it meant for you to open up to me as well.

You did a good job, Billy. This assignment wasn't meant to make you relive what happened. It wasn't meant to open old wounds. That's why Ms. Appleby gave you an exemption." The Red Ranger shook his head. "I don't know if I'd be strong enough to not take the exemption if I were in your shoes. You managed to walk a fine line between getting out your emotions and wallowing in them." He smiled sadly, "You did it with a great deal of grace."

Billy blushed and smiled at Jason's praise... he swallowed, kept himself in check lest he hug Jase so hard he'd leave a mark. "Th... thank you." Billy stood there with a half grin on his face, still preening under Jason's praise. Instead of walking off to the kitchen, he hugged Jason fiercely, and whispered in his ear... "Me too, Jase... me too." before leaving a very confused Jason Scott Lee in the doorway to his living room.


	4. Chapter 4

The Assignment

4?

BleuWoulfe & Cobalt Blue

Jason looked down at the computer screen and thought back to the exchange he shared with Billy earlier this afternoon. His "little bro" had opened up to him in a way he never thought possible, and revealed a deeper depth of feelings that he never realized was there. That of course only served to fuel the fire and depth of his confession. _Could Billy have meant what I think he meant?_

It was something to consider; something that he would have to think about- after he finished paper for Mrs. Appleby's class. Again, he looked at the paper and thought about how Billy's mother's death as a result of a drunk driver had affected him. For sure, it forged the personality of his friend in ways that he couldn't even imagine, but how did it affect him personally?

Well, for starters, it affected the way he, and all of their friends for that matter, dealt with Billy. Most people, who knew Billy, thought that Billy didn't miss his mother because he never spoke about her. Jason, Kim and the rest knew differently. Billy missed his mother so much that he didn't talk about her because it hurt him so much. Jason knew that the hurt had never really gone away for his green-eyed friend. It had just subsided enough to let him function.

Jason looked back to the computer screen and began to type:

_HOW A DRUNK DRIVER CHANGED MY LIFE PERSONALLY_

_By Jason Lee Scott_

_I can honestly say that a drunk driver has changed my life. Although I personally have not lost a relative to that kind of tragedy, I am very close to someone who has. I met him right after his mother died in an accident caused by someone driving under the influence of alcohol. He was sad and hurting and needed a friend. Deciding to be one was the best thing that has ever happened to me._

_My friend is a very quiet and reserved person who seldom talks about personal matters such as feelings and emotions. However, I know that they run deep. I've known him for over 5 years now and he's grown to be even closer to me than a best friend can be. There are times when he's my rock, the person I go to when I'm having a rough time. The person with whom I would spend hours talking to about the most important things in the world to a kid. He's someone for whom I would go to any lengths and I know that he feels the same. Even though he's actually six weeks older than me, he's my "little bro"._

_My other friends and I are all so close that we can talk about almost anything in the world without any fear of censure or hazing. But we don't speak of this particular friend's mother out of respect for him. He has had so much pain and loss in his life that we would never choose to bring him more by dredging up old hurts and sorrows. _

_Sometimes I wonder though, if we are actually doing the right thing. I wonder if there are times when he would like to discuss his mother, but feels that we aren't interested in hearing about her. I know I've seen pictures of her and him and his dad. I even know her name: Rachel. But beyond that I know very little. Because my friend is so important to me, I would like to know more, but am afraid to ask. Not because of fear of being told no, but from fear of causing him any more hurt. _

_In the end, it simply a sign of how unfair life really is that this caring, brilliant, and handsome young man has to face his future without the guiding force of a woman I know had to have been such an important part of his life. And to me that is one of the greatest losses in the world. In the end, I would have to say that a drunk driver's actions were a defining force in my friend's life. I think on the day that she died, a part of my friend died, and that is something that can never be replaced. I wish could I take away the hurt and pain, but I can't. All I can do is be there for him if he ever needs me to be- to be the rock in his life that he's always been in mine._

Jason sighed and leaned back. He was wondering about just how much to say in the essay. He didn't want to give too much away, but he wanted to be clear that the death of Rachel Cranston had thoroughly affected Bill for the rest of his life.

Before he could carry the thought further, his mother called up, "Jason, you have a visitor."

Jason got up and went downstairs to find Kim waiting for him. "Hiya," she said.

"What's up?" Jason asked.

"Just wondering how your paper was coming. I'm sort of stuck on mine," she said.

Jason shrugged, "I just finished up the rough draft. You can take a look if you like. It might give you an idea."

"Thanks," she said.

"No problem. You can tell me if it's any good," Jason said. "Come on up."

Kim followed Jase up the stairs to his room. He gestured toward the chair at the desk and said, "There it is." He sat down on the bed quietly as she read the essay. When she finished she turned and looked at him. "Jase, are you sure what you're saying here."

Jason shook his head and answered, "Yeah."

Kim said quietly, "Jason, it sounds less like a declaration of friendship and more like a declaration of…"

"What do you think?" Jason cut her off.

"I think that you didn't write this for Mrs. Appleby to read, as much as you wrote if for Billy to read."

Jason nodded. "What do you think?" he asked again.

"I don't know what you're asking me, Jase. Do you want my support? You've always had that, both of you. Do you want my approval? You don't need that. You never have."

"I just want to know what kind of grade you think I'll get."

"I think it's good. You should get at least a B, if not an A. Normally I would say have Billy or even Trini check it over, but I'm not sure you would want to do that."

"No, I probably wouldn't," Jason told her. "Look Kim, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this to yourself until I can talk to Bill."

"No problem," she said. "Look, if you need to talk. I'm all ears."

"I appreciate that, but I think Billy's got to get past his own essay before we can talk about this."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"I can wait. I've been waiting for quite a while."

"Okay," she looked down at her watch. "Eek! I didn't think it was that late. I got to get over to the day care pick up Kenny for Mom."

"Okay. I hope you at least got some ideas for your essay," he told her rising.

"I did," she replied coming to the door. Raising herself up on tiptoes she gently kissed him on the cheek. "And good luck, Jase."

"Thanks." Jason let her out and sat down to re-read what he'd written. He figured that since Billy had asked him to read his essay first, he'd return the favor. He just hoped that Billy would get it, and not run scared by what Jase had revealed in his writings. He called Billy to solicit his opinion; he only hoped he had done things the right way.

Billy picked up on the third ring, and was pleased to hear Jason's baritone on the other end of the line. "Cranston residence, this is Bill speaking." Once he knew it was his old friend, his tone warmed up quite a bit… "Hi Jason, what could I do for you?" Billy said as he balanced a cup of coffee in his other hand while he navigated back to the kitchen.

Jason hesitated for a split second, then answered Billy's query. "I finished my assignment, and I'd like your feedback Bill. I'd really like your honest opinion on it if you don't mind." Jason awaited the answer like a man who had started his walk on the last mile, and knew the executioners chair awaited him at the end of the path. Bill was quiet a little too long for Jason's liking, but eventually spoke up in a thick voice.

"Sure Jason, I'd be honored to do so. I appreciate that you wrote something for this assignment, you didn't have to do it you know." Billy said after he'd regained his composure and taken a couple swallows of his coffee.

Jason beamed on the other end of the line, despite the fact that Billy couldn't have seen his smile. "Do you want me to come over there, or do you want me to pick you up later?" Jason leaned against the doorframe of his room as he nearly sagged in relief. He knew the hard part was yet to come, to deal with Billy's reaction once he'd read his work… his mental wandering was interrupted by Billy's soft tenor cutting into his consciousness.

"I'll come over in a bit Jason, I just need to leave dad a note and grab some homework if you don't mind us working together on our coursework after I've read your essay." Billy

viciously slammed the door on the part of his mind that wanted to make more of Jason's offer than what was there. Instead he focused his attention on the conversation, and resolved to deal with his errant fantasies later. "I'll see you in about a half hour Jason, and thank you."

Jason smiled before he said goodbye. "Don't thank me yet little bro', wait until you've read my essay before you say or do anything. I'll see you soon; I'll put on some coffee for you." Jason hung up, and left the conversation in a comfortable spot at least until Billy got there and read his work. He puttered around the house until the doorbell rang, and announced Billy's arrival. Jason opened the door and let him in, and allowed him to get comfortable before he slid a steaming cup of Columbian over to Billy and sat adjacent to him.

Bill took the proffered mug with a thankful smile and enjoyed the coffee in comfortable silence. He allowed himself a mental grin as he realized Jason had made his coffee just how he liked it, dark and somewhat sweet. After a couple more moments of silence, he looked up to his old friend and gave him a searching look before he requested Jason's essay to read over.

"May I look at your essay Jason? I'm actually kind of anxious to read it if I may." Billy asked quietly as he palmed his coffee mug to give himself something to do with his hands.

"Sure, it's still on my screen upstairs. I didn't print it yet Bill, if you don't mind coming up to read it."

Billy shrugged and gathered his laptop bag, and mug and followed Jason to his room in silence then sat down where Jason's laptop sat on his desk. Jason waited for a moment in the doorway before he left the bedroom while Bill read his essay. Bill turned his head and quirked an eyebrow at Jason's retreat, but left it at that while he turned to read Jason's work.

Jason waited outside at the top of the stairs while Bill read the paper. It wasn't long so Bill should be able to have finished in just a couple of minutes. However, he wanted to give his genius friend a chance to completely absorb what he'd written. He really hoped he wasn't throwing too much at once at Billy, but this was something he was starting to really need to get off his chest. He'd considered discussing it with Tommy, but wasn't sure how the brooding Ranger leader would react to it. This was the kind of thing that needed to be kept between the people involved, or at least long and close friends like Kim before they went to out for general consumption. Taking a deep breath, he went back into the bedroom to see what Billy thought of the piece.

Billy sat stock still, deep in thought after he read Jason's work. His friend's words and what was also between the words. He sat there for a long time, until he heard Jason's footsteps on the floor stop about two feet into the room. He knew what Jason had done, knew what chance his best friend had taken in opening up so much. He swiped a hand over his eyes, surprised to find moisture on his fingers when he tried to compose himself.

Billy stood up and faced Jason, a tense silence between the two young men before Billy crossed the room in a heartbeat and almost knocked Jason down with the force of his embrace. He latched onto Jason and let out a sniff before the floodgates opened and he started bawling like a child. Jason who normally would have been shocked at Billy's display just held his friend closer, and let him ride out the storm.

Once Billy was done, Jason closed and locked his door before he led Billy to his bed and wiped his face. Bill looked down partially in shame at how he'd lost control like that and partially in fear at how Jason would react to his sudden outburst of emotion. Jason stared into his eyes, and wondered who would break the silence first. Billy hadn't been that emotional in years with him, and he hoped his essay didn't do that to his friend. He didn't want to cause Billy any more pain, and the crying jag unhinged him just a little.

Finally Billy tentatively took Jason's other hand in his own and spoke quietly, so quietly Jason had to strain to hear him. "I apologize; I didn't mean to drench you Jason. Your words had a profound effect on me, as well as what you said with no words at all. I hope that I didn't misread your intent Jason, because if I do what I want to do and it's wrong I may just kill myself or worse if I wake up and this was a dream I'll go mad."

"No dream, not a dream bro." Jason said as he gently caressed Billy's face and tightened his grip on his hand. "Please, I didn't want to hurt you Billy I didn't want to make you cry again. Forgive me."

Billy didn't say anything but turned Jason's palm up and kissed it gently. He took a deep breath and looked up at his oldest friend before he took a leap and kissed him gently, as he put his heart into what started out as a tender kiss full of love he'd kept in check for so long that finally was allowed to the surface became a soulful kiss that didn't end until Billy had to breathe.

He opened his eyes and awaited Jason's reaction to his very un-Billy like actions. He'd either kiss him back or show him the door. Jason blinked rapidly once he realized some oxygen was on its way to his brain again, and looked into Billy's eyes, finding an expectant expression as well as some trepidation. He let his forehead meet Billy's and sighed in relief before he kissed Billy again, this time in a gentle way that led to them entwined on Jason's bed, face to face and flushed with passion but also love between two old friends.

Jason ran a thumb over his friends face for a while before he could speak without choking up. He turned over as he put Bill on his back and leaned over him so he could see Billy's reaction to his declaration now that he dared to say the words. "You read it just as I'd hoped Bill. I was afraid of how you'd react, that you'd flip out and go to ground or that you didn't feel the same. It would have killed me inside, but I had to tell you somehow that I love you Billy and I always will."

As soon as he finished speaking Jason found him self flat on his back with his arms full of Billy who had hugged him as hard as he could and was whispering thank you in his ear. "Thank you, thank you Jason." was whispered in his ear before he was soundly kissed again for longer than he could breathe. Once they came up for air Billy laid his head on Jason's chest and smiled to himself. He almost fell asleep to the rhythm of Jason's hand threading through his hair until Jason tapped his shoulder gently. "Hey, if your going to sleep on me turn over Billy you're hogging the bed." Jason said with a mischievous grin.

"You're an evil man Jason, waking up a triceratops to make room for the tyrannosaurus so it can lay down to sleep." Billy grumbled good naturedly as he snuggled up to Jason, kicked off his shoes and pulled Jason to him so they could sleep for a bit before they were called to dinner. Jason laid a kiss on Billy's cheek before joining him in a nap, a smile on his face.


End file.
